UPDATED - Your news, as interpreted by ABC (re-interpreted by me)

The Senate is poised to take up a $516 billion measure to fund 14 Cabinet agencies and troops in Afghanistan, with President Bush likely to sign the measure if his GOP allies can add up to $40 billion for the war in Iraq.

Why do they need to do that? No explanation.

Senate leaders would like to wrap up debate Tuesday, though GOP conservatives may balk, unhappy with spending above Bush's budget and a secretive process that produced a 1,482-page bill with almost 9,000 pet projects sought by lawmakers.

Why is it above Bush's Budget? Ah! a "secretive process" (unexplained), "pet projects", and anonomynous "lawmakers" Lets try this, ABC - use the words "pork", and "Democrats"

Despite opposition from conservative hard-liners like Tom Coburn, R-Okla., and Jim DeMint, R-S.C., the stage is set for a year-end budget deal ending a monthslong battle between the White House and congressional Democrats over domestic spending.

And what do these two guys oppose? PORK. ABC sees fit to name their resistance, without naming waht they resist. Once again, what they do NOT report will tell you more than what they do!

Now here comes the biggest weasel-paragraph I've seen all week:

Democrats have succeeded in smoothing the rough edges of Bush's February budget plan, which sought below-inflation increases for domestic programs other than military base construction and contained numerous cutbacks and program eliminations.

Smoothing the edges, ey? Below inflation increases for domestic programs! And "numerous" "other things"! Wow - Now we know what is going on. Thank you, Oh journalist who reports things to us, so we may know what is going on!

Actually, Im confused. WTF? Let's read on....

But Democrats were able to fill in most of the cuts by shifting money from the Pentagon and foreign aid budgets, adding "emergency" funding above Bush's budget "cap" and adding future-year funding for federal education programs.

Uh-oh. PORK.

The bill passed the House late Monday after an unusual legislative two-step aimed at easing the bill's movement through a gauntlet of anti-war Democrats and Republicans unhappy with the measure's price tag and the process that produced it.

Again - thanks for the explanation. POOOORK!

The House first voted 253-154 to approve the omnibus spending bill funding domestic agency budgets and foreign aid; they then voted 206-201 to add $31 billion for troops in Afghanistan to the measure and sent the combined spending package to the Senate.

Huh? What?

Democrats are generally far more supportive of military operations in Afghanistan than they are of the unpopular war in Iraq.

Aaaah! the "unpopular" war. Yeah. OK. Made unpopular by a relentless propagandist effort on the part of ..... You.

Republicans generally opposed the omnibus measure, arguing it's unfair to provide money for troops in Afghanistan but not Iraq. They also opposed $13 billion in spending above Bush's "top line" request for the one-third of the budget passed each year by Congress.

Quote please? Damned Republicans. All they do is "argue". Like naughty children.

And there you have it! The Senate is poised, Democrats smoothed the rough edges of Bush's plan by filling in cuts below inflation increase and numerous cutbacks and eliminations, Republicans argued, Unpopular war in Iraq.

Oh, and Article contents contradicts headline.

Soundbite file transfer complete. You are what you read peeps, don't eat gum off the ground!

UPDATE:

Here is what really happened.